Goooooood morning

(Source: lesdivebar)


kill him

(Source: huffingtonpost)

Huddled around this citronella candle ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ

And told him he’s only just passed “anorexic” weight for his height and is finally in the healthy zone.
And so my question is: anorexia is a number? I was appalled and told him anorexia is a mental disease and has nothing to do with a number. And he actually laughed and said “HOW IS IT MENTAL??”
More like WHAT PLANET DO YOU LIVE ON I hate everyone

But this time I feel something being done about it already.
I have BED. I deal with constant self loathing.

I don’t have friends to talk to. My boyfriend nods and doesn’t know what to say. So I’m putting this here. I keep way too much in.
I compare myself to too many people. I’m not perfect. I’ll never be perfect. I should feel perfect just the way I am. I am definitely not fat. I need to get the fuck over my TINY muffin top and my armpit fat that sticks out from my bra. Who. The. Fuck. Cares. I am miserable and it’s my own fault and all of this just because I want to be like somebody else meanwhile I am sacrificing everything that is ME and everything that is my wonderful life with my wonderful boyfriend who doesn’t know how to shed a tear or show emotion but who is so supportive and perfect and could easily leave me for a girl with a bit of confidence and sanity but trusts that I will do what I have to to get and feel better. I should be so thankful for what I have and everything I’ve seen in my short but dense life but instead I live in the future hoping that I will LOOK how I dream of looking and hating every single day that passes where I am not as perfect as I hope to be.
I need to breath. I feel like I can’t breath but only because I’ve got my own hands around my god damn throat.

Things are going to change. I can feel it. And I think my psych break yesterday was the best thing to happen to me in a long time.

Also I enjoyed getting dressed up….once

My favorite part was alllllll the food #cheesecakefactory #gumbo

Dan loves Las Vegas ๐Ÿ˜Š

Vegas bound! Have fun being not in Vegas k bye

Post gym kitty cuddles. Mainly I want to show off that dans gained almost 30 lbs and ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ˜

Buddy at work just gave me many gifts of life. #friendlyacquaintances

"toseeachangeinme replied to your post: The worst part about getting healthy or losing weight is
I completely know how you feelโ€ฆ Honestly I feel like those who have tried this the longest know the most, b/c people learn from their mistakes and know what actually works and keeps the weight off vs. losing the weight quickly and gain it back.”

And to add to that: people who have been doing this for a while also understand that everyone’s body works differently and are way more supportive. I am rarely rolling my eyes at people’s attempts to success (juicing can go fuck itself though IMO) and I give advice but understand if they’re not into it!
My sister recently got mad at me for trying IF. Like YO I FEEL AMAZING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WHILE. And I’m not skipping breakfast at all I’m just eating it later in the day. And it’s like double the size (I fucking love food)

QuestionI want to get back into working out. I use to love it when I lived away from home and didn't have family around me so I would work out heaps and love doing work out classes. I've kind of lost my mojo and I want to get back into doing weight workouts.I have a weights machine/dumbbells/medicine ball...i REALLY would love some advice or even what you do in a week!? And if possible a diet plan of what you would eat? Answer

I find what weak for me and doesn’t get in the way of my schedule at all is early morning workoutS! I go and do everything before I go to work. And then when I’m tired after work or feel lazy I have no guilt just sitting on the couch all night! That ha definitely kept me in check. And my workout routine is much more limited because I have an injured neck that I’m nursing. So it’s intense leg days, cardio, HIIT and abs mostly. I’m there 5-6 days a week and most of my accomplishments come from a healthy diet!